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So I get a request from a man to join this tribe and I respond politely as I normally do and decline his request. Then he emails me back all preachy and I'm sorry, it just pissed me off!!!
Vron initial reply with decline of request:
> > Hello and thanks for your interest in our
> > tribe. Unfortunately this tribe is only for
> > women. There is another tribe about women in
> > the martial arts which is open to all called
> > "budo babes".
Guy's response:
> You guys need an equilizer. The things you
> ladies say in the forum is a contradicatory
> towards being a martial artist.
My pissy response back:
No, I don't think we do actually. There are like 20 other tribes about martial arts, which are mostly men. I do not see any harm in having one where it's women only. You think all the feedback from those 20 other tribes does not equalize things? You think that the fact that we train with 99% men does not "equalize" things. Come on, get real and let it go. I think judging folks is also not in the way of martial arts. Practice what you preach buddy.
******
I signed off as "sincerely" and then proceeded to mark him in my ignore list.
I mean - come one, if you really wanted to get in, I think coming off like a pushy condescending as*hole is NOT the way to go about it.
Discuss please...
Vron initial reply with decline of request:
> > Hello and thanks for your interest in our
> > tribe. Unfortunately this tribe is only for
> > women. There is another tribe about women in
> > the martial arts which is open to all called
> > "budo babes".
Guy's response:
> You guys need an equilizer. The things you
> ladies say in the forum is a contradicatory
> towards being a martial artist.
My pissy response back:
No, I don't think we do actually. There are like 20 other tribes about martial arts, which are mostly men. I do not see any harm in having one where it's women only. You think all the feedback from those 20 other tribes does not equalize things? You think that the fact that we train with 99% men does not "equalize" things. Come on, get real and let it go. I think judging folks is also not in the way of martial arts. Practice what you preach buddy.
******
I signed off as "sincerely" and then proceeded to mark him in my ignore list.
I mean - come one, if you really wanted to get in, I think coming off like a pushy condescending as*hole is NOT the way to go about it.
Discuss please...
posted by:
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Honolulu
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Re: I Just Had to Share...
Sun, February 17, 2008 - 3:54 AMYou know I dumped all the other martial arts tribes over a year or more ago because of the mostly
put down, calling names not only to women martial artists but also to styles of martial arts.
I love this tribe-don't need men in here
they have plenty of other tribes for them
i mean lots of others
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Re: I Just Had to Share...
Sun, February 17, 2008 - 7:43 AMI *did* dunp mostof the MA tribes because of all the pissing contests. Support is so much nicer.
Even my tribe has mostly been,lately, me reminding people of the protocols for that tribe and asking why they think men can do it better just because they are stronger...
Just to clarify, Budobabes is not about "women in MA" it is about people in MA and how that intesects/interacts with the rest of our lives... -
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Re: I Just Had to Share...
Sun, February 17, 2008 - 2:08 PMThanks for the clarification Qatana. I think I was confused because it had the word "babes" in it and I associate that word with women. I think however, compared to all the other tribes out there, your's is the most female centric after ours, so I still do see it as a good alternative for folks who want to interact with women martial artists in a women-positive environment. Is this still incorrect? Thanks! :) -
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budobabes
Sun, February 17, 2008 - 2:43 PMits a good place to interact with martial artists of every gender and orientation to discuss how our lives intersect with our arts, and how they don't.Its a pansexual positive environment, we've had discussion about being male & gay, being kinky, being parents or not being parents,relationships within & without the dojo, essentially its a place for martial artists to talk about life in connection with MA in many, many permutations.
Many men who join seem to think it is a dating site. It isn't. Or a place to prove they are better because they're bigger. They aren't.
But its funny how This tribe doesn't get the spam for "women's secret MA as taught by this particular male person" on it that my tribe gets....you'd think with all those female discip- I mean, students, they could get one to join up here to do thier spamming for them.... -
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Re: budobabes
Sun, February 17, 2008 - 3:06 PMAwesome description! Thank you!
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Re: I Just Had to Share...
Mon, February 18, 2008 - 11:31 AMHis response says it all. It doesn't seem as though he wanted to join to add to the group, but to nay say. -
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Re: I Just Had to Share...
Mon, February 18, 2008 - 12:04 PMYou know, part of the reason I posted it here is because I question myself. I'm a bit PC to be honest (a product of my white suburban middle class culture?) and I really did think before hand about to make this open or closed to both sexes. -
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Re: I Just Had to Share...
Sat, February 23, 2008 - 5:54 PMVron,
I think you were both gracious and honest. Goodness knows half teh tiem I cant manage that- ok- Im not as tactful as I'd like, You are tho! :D.
I have to wonder what the mans' thought process was to think that not only did We specifically need an equalizer (umm yeah, youre right- HOW many tribes are like 95% male??) , but that *he* wa sthe man that you should destruct the stability of our tribe for.
I'll echo what I saw on earlier posts and say thi sis teh only MA tribe I pay attention to when I get on - becuase it's members respect each others Arts, and each other. When we have issues we work them out. When one of us has real world issues we support each other.
Geesh, I can see WHY he might want to join such a FAB group, but honestly, it would no longer be so fab once it was'nt the incredible brainchild of one V Ron as intended. That is - Female Martial Artists. :D
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Re: I Just Had to Share...
Sat, February 23, 2008 - 7:37 PMAlso - if he would have even read the description of the tribe up top he would have seen the following (last paragraph):
"This is a moderated tribe and it's members will only be women. I want to point out that I do think a man's point of view is appreciated and can be of value, however there are almost 15 other tribes where both genders can debate and share opinions about martial arts. This tribe is for women to speak for themselves."
The very last sentence really is a MAJOR component in the creation of this tribe... women speaking for themselves. -
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Re: I Just Had to Share...
Sun, February 24, 2008 - 2:20 PMSo... what your saying is:
We woman should talk for ourselves?? THINK for ourselves?? Value our own???
:: looks down at her chest:: Hey,squeekums..... you're gig is up. I was tired of speaking in teh "royal We" anyhow. run along and find you a vermin MA tribe.. however frightning that suggestion sounds...
;) WE think.. ahem!.. I mean *I* think you done just fine, and covered yer bases well during teh foundation laying, girlie!
Nin (wierd, and without a guy to say it for/about me!)
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